the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
