god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
