debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
