allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
