I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
