Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
