oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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