Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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