Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
