you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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