I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have fence marks all over my body
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
