they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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