No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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