Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
