Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
