Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
