i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
