What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize