Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
