my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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