Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
