I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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