The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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