Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
