Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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