i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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