Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
