My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
