She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
