it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
