Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
