fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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