He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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