its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
