Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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