i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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