Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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