I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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