I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize