You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
