you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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