Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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