Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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