i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
