is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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