Yo dont text me then not text me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
