But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
