honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
