standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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