Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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