Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
