Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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