ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life