As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras