At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.