I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
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His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA