Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
