i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
