I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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